One of the things I've noticed over the years is the impossibility of meeting the ideal expectations of the holidays.  If one isn't careful, the desire for the 'perfect" overwhelms the ability to do the practical.  We apply that 'ideal' standard to both our memories of holidays past and out desired experience of the present one.  The net result can be a huge feeling of disappointment for everyone.   I think that every family wishes at some point that it had a better past or at least a different one and the holidays trigger that.  So instead of having a DVR of "Father Knows Best" to play back, when we do the holiday memory search, it comes up looking more like "Psycho 2".

I have a better idea on how to handle all this for families who are caring for parents during the holidays:  Just be thankful and express that to folks around you.  In retrospect, we all have things we wish we had done differently or better but the truth is we didn't.  But we all have moments when we did great things.  So, let's make the moment the moment during the holidays and make it the moment we celebrate.

Just to have a parent alive is a cause for celebration.  I would give the last five years of my life to hear my dad tell a few of his stories live and unplugged.  I would also like to be able to put him in my car and ride him through the countryside.  I even would like to hear him say that I spend too much money on pretty things and not on necessary ones.  (All this coming from a machinist on the railroad. Practical, not pretty is the mantra with those guys:)  With my dad, you could never save to much or spend too little.

 Be thankful for the food.  In America, we will have more leftovers after Thanksgiving than the vast majority of the world has for a main course.  And we will throw them out after a while simply to make room for other leftovers.  Find a way to use the food to it's highest purpose:  eat it yourself, give it to a neighbor, the food bank, or the kennel but leverage its energy and ability to fuel your ambitions..

Be thankful for a warm house, a mortgage you can pay, a car that starts, water that runs, and toilets that flush.  99% of the world is trying to get to that level as their lifetime aspiration and most of us awake to that as just table stakes each and every morning.  If you think those things are the norm, get up at 4 am one morning and try to find a bush to go to the bathroom behind in your neighborhood.  Not impossible, but challenging.

If you have animals who love you, love them back.  Put their face in your hands and just tell them you are thankful for them.  I love animals because they don't feel sorry for themselves.  They just take it, no matter what happens and love you back no matter what you do or don't do. I fell asleep the other night on the couch downstairs and awoke about 2 in the morning.  My three dogs, Zack (chocolate lab-college frat  guy personality), Roxanne(black lab-middle child syndome) and Pearl (white labradoodle-cross between Bette Midler and Richard Simmons) were all curled up near me on the floor or at the end of the couch.  I listened to them breathing and thought if there is a Heaven, it sure doesn't get better than this. And even if it does, if they aren't there, I'm not going.

Just tell the people around you that you love them and are grateful for them. Hold them and hug them like there was no tomorrow.  There are very few chances to do first things again in life. Just stop, breathe through your nose, and tell the person beside you that you care about them and that they and their future are incredibly important. for you to be a par

Then go stuff your face like there was no tomorrow..